Roommate
by daytimedrama
Summary: So this is my fic based on the sad promo of 4x16. Danny/Lindsay, angst and a little fluff, Stella makes an appearance too. Inspired by my listening to the Dolly Parton song Jolene.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Roommate  
Author: daytimedrama  
Rating: K  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Content Warning: Angst/Romance  
Summary: My take on 4x16, no spoilers only inferring from the sad promo

A/N: Had to get some angst out, I was really sad after listening to the Dolly Parton song Jolene. Such a wonderful song, but hit a bit close to home cause of the promo. Thanks kcaitlin for putting up with my bipolar plot bunnies.

* * *

"Thanks Lindsay for letting me stay here, you're sure I won't be in your way?"

"Of course not, you are welcome for as long as you like. I'm just sorry I'm not in better spirits to host you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Stella's heart went out to the girl; she could tell she was really struggling. She had a pretty good idea about what had happened, what had been happening.

"No" she managed to squeak out, she could feel her resolve breaking. "It's a very long day; I could do with a big glass of wine." With that she walked into the kitchen, stopping by her stereo and flipping to a specific song.

They were both silent for a long time, only the twangy sound of Dolly Parton's voice flowed through the small apartment. Lindsay sang along quietly, "….And I cannot compete with you, Jolene…..But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene…. You could have your choice of men, But I could never love again, He's the only one for me, Jolene."

"Lindsay you really need to stop listening to this song." Stella knew how bad it would be for Lindsay to continue to walk down this path.

"I like Dolly Parton."

"So do I but listening to Jolene on repeat? Is that a good idea?"

"What? It's a good song." Then she added a little bitterly, "besides I'm just a girl from Montana, I'm supposed to love country."

She was silent again, listening to the song for what seemed to Stella to be the thousandth time.

Lindsay finally spoke, "I'm such an idiot. I must have looked like the biggest fool. Standing there, pouring my heart out. He looked so shocked or disgusted. I don't know which is worse. As if he had no idea. I mean come on really? It's not that much of a stretch. Our history goes back to the freaking ice age; sure it's been rocky, but not so rocky not to expect this."

"Listen to me Lindsay. You are not a fool. If he can't see how special you are, and what a precious gift you were offering him, well then he just doesn't deserve you."

"I guess I should have realized this would happen. What did I really expect? I would finally be honest with him, and would all of a sudden pay attention to me again. I would tell him I'd fallen in love with him and he'd say it back? I gave him space. Obviously he realized he didn't need me to help him get through this. I guess I thought he'd just do it by himself not find someone else to open up to. That never even entered into my mind." Lindsay just stifled another sob.

"I know how hard it must have been to put yourself out there like that."

Lindsay's phone vibrated on the table.

"Are you going to answer that?" Stella had a feeling who she was avoiding.

"No. I'm not on call."

The phone beeped indicating a new message.

"Are you going to check that?"

"No. It can wait. I'm brooding." Lindsay emphasized. "I'm sorry Stell. Now I'm a jerk too, I'm going on and on about a stupid boy, and your house burned down. I'm really sorry. I'm the worst friend ever."

"He's not just a boy."

"No. He just doesn't love me."

They were quiet again, Lindsay staring sullenly at her coffee table and empty glass. Stella walked into the kitchen to open another bottle. With the day they both had, they would definitely need even more wine. Thank god liquor stores delivered.

There was a knock at the door.

"Who could that be?" Stella asked from the kitchen.

"Don't answer it." Stella was about to ask who it was, but as if on cue they heard muffled through the wood barrier, "Lindsay, come on, I know you're in there. Now open the door."

"I'm not here," she hissed at Stella.

Stella walked to the door, not opening it fully.

"She's not here," she said blandly.

"Of course she is. Let me talk to her." Danny said certainly.

"I don't think that is the best idea. She's really hurt, and you guys will probably end up saying something you both don't mean."

"I really need to tell her something important," he begged.

Stella's eyes trailed over to Lindsay's place on the couch. Lindsay looked devastated. She didn't even want to think about what could be possibly going through her mind. She knew they needed to talk it out, but was afraid if Danny would stick his foot in his mouth, again.

"I swear to god Danny, if you hurt her I will make sure they can't find even one of your fingers."

"I don't mean to." Stella stepped aside and let Danny pass. Lindsay looked to Stella with such a look of betrayal, as if she had just been handed to the wolves. She refused to look up at him. Now that he was in her apartment, he had no idea what to say. He hadn't thought that far ahead. He figured getting her to open the door would be a victory in itself. Stella still stood there watching them, waiting for an explosion. Finally Danny said to her, "Uh Stella, do you mind?"

"Actually I do mind. You okay Lindsay?" Lindsay only nodded. "I'm going to the corner bodega. Danny if you haven't figured out how to fix this by the time I get back, well then your time is just up." She walked to the table grabbed her purse and went through the front door. In the hallway she took a deep breath. She didn't know if she expected to hear loud yelling, maybe dead silence was so much worse.

"Lindsay," he started out quietly. "Please look at me."

"I can't look at you right now." She sounded defeated.

"I love you Lindsay, I should have told you earlier."

"Don't lie to me. I didn't say it for you to say it back."

"I'm not lying. I love you."

"You don't love me. If you even cared about me in the slightest, you wouldn't have been treating me the way you do," she began to get angry. "I want you to leave."

"No I need you to believe me," he was adamant.

"But I don't." she was cold, as if they were strangers. Perhaps they were.

Lindsay heard Stella come back through the front door; she had knocked gently, and slowly opened the door. The romantic in her was hoping to come back to a wonderful reunion.

Now it was Danny's turn to look defeated. Stella felt badly for them both. They didn't know how to bridge the gap that now kept them so separated. Stella wished they could go back to how happy and in love they so obviously were. She wished Danny would get over what issues he had and actually be honest with her. She stepped aside as Danny walked past her to the door. He stopped as he held the door knob, turning back to Lindsay, he said, "I meant it Lindsay."

Stella was confused and Lindsay was listening to Jolene again. She felt she had to say something. "What did he mean Lindsay?"

"He said he loved me." She was in tears now.

"He said that?" Lindsay nodded.

"So why is he leaving?!" Stella was really confused now, why did Danny and Lindsay still look so miserable, and why had he left?

"I told him I couldn't look at him right now; I couldn't stand to see him lie to me."

"Lindsay, he wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it," this seemed to get through to her; she did know that Danny was honest, and he definitely didn't take confessions of his love lightly.

Lindsay suddenly stood up. "Oh my god what should I do?"

"Go after him!" Stella exclaimed while Lindsay was already halfway out the door, struggling to pull on her jacket while running.

Stella had to smile and then she thought to herself, "I won't wait up."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm so sad. So this story that once seemed to be going towards a happy ending, well yeah this is how I feel about happy endings right now.

I'm just so disappointed in the CSI NY writers.

* * *

Stella was surprised to hear the key turning in the door, and she got up when the door slammed against the safety chain. She was even more shocked to hear Lindsay's soft voice say, "Stella it's me."

"Did you catch up to him?"

"No."

"It's not too late Lindsay, we can just call him, find out where he went."

"No. I know where he is. I saw him go into his building. I stood outside, he didn't see me. I couldn't bring myself to go up his elevator. I couldn't bring myself to walk down his hallway. Pass by _her_ door. Stand in his apartment, where _they _had been. Listen to him make excuses, promising never to do it again. But when I closed my eyes all I could picture was his hands on her, his mouth on hers."

"Oh Lindsay. I'm so sorry," it was cruel to watch her like this; it was like kicking a puppy.

"The thought of him touching me now makes my skin crawl."

Stella knew there was nothing to say, nothing that could help this pain of betrayal.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself move. I know my in my heart I love him, but my head knows how much he has hurt me, how much he can hurt me." She was quiet and then gave a sardonic laugh. "I threw up. I actually threw up in the trash can in the lobby."

"Can I do anything? What can I do?" Stella's heart was breaking for her.

"Nothing, Stell. I just have to learn to let this go. Let _him_ go. He's so different than what I thought he was. I wonder if I ever really knew him. I must have been kidding myself. So desperate, so hoping for him be this great guy, I didn't see it. I didn't see it at all. I was so stupid, so blind."

"I think you need a very tall drink."

"I never thought he could do _this_," her voice broke, "Danny Messer is a lot of things, but I never in a million years, thought he'd do this. All these months I was half expecting him to just tire of me. There was no mystery left, no chase. But I was happy. It was finally just us, no drama, and no pasts. Just us. Well apparently it was just me." This time the sarcastic laugh turned into a sob.

"Do you want me to call Mac? Get you the day off tomorrow? Oh hell I'm practically your boss, I say we both take the day off. It's been a bad couple of days."

"I'd like that Stella," she tried to smile up at her, her eyes now glistening with tears. "I don't think I'm ready to see him yet."

"Okay the plan is, drink this bottle of wine, sleep in, and eat a very sugary breakfast. We will then proceed to max out our credit cards while sipping on mimosas. Wear our brand new sexy dresses to dinner, get hit on by beautiful foreign men and leave happily together. No dead bodies, no crime scenes, no fingerprints, no stupid boys, just us girls. Sound like a plan?"

"Yeah I really like that plan."

Stella gave her a tight smile. She knew this wasn't going to solve any of Lindsay's heartache, but if it could distract her for just one moment of the feeling of her heart ripping into two, then it might be worth it. She knew Lindsay would have to go back to work eventually; she'd have to work on the same shifts with him, feel her heart breaking all over again when she wanted to laugh at something funny he said. At least it wouldn't be tomorrow.


End file.
